WOWZERS

Ok, since my last post a few things have happened. As you know, I've been having issues off and on with watching Kaitlynn because of her father mainly. We got into a doozy of an arguement where hidden feelings came out and though it was really ugly, I believe we made a breakthrough. Right now, things are in the trial stage, so we'll see how it works.
Saturday morning, I was taking Moto (Chas's Min-pinx) out to use the potty, and being an idiot, I wore bath slippers to take him out. The front porch was covered with snow, and I immediately slipped and severely sprained my left foot. I won't lie, it has been hell walking up and down the stairs with it, but the only thing the doctor instructed me to do was to elevate and ice it, walk on it for as long as I can tolerate it too. It left me with a nice dark bruise on the instep of my foot and yes, the foot is swollen.
Then we all woke up Monday morning and found that it had snowed pretty good. I think it dropped at least 10 inches, and it's been snowing off and on since. Dave's not too thrilled about it, but the rest of us are extremely happy to see we'll have a White Christmas this year. (It's about time too!) Dave moves home to work sometime in January, and he's really looking forward to it. Right now he's training other RAs (Remote Agent) and is finding interesting things out. The RA he's training now was a Supervisor for four years, and has worked for Convergys for seven.
Other than that, I've got 2 more kids that will be coming to me probably in Jan. The mother has my price list/rules, and is okay with it. She says she has 2 girls, a 5yr old and a 3yr old, and it'd be off and on during the week, sometimes on weekends. I'm excited because Kaitlynn will have some other children to interact with, which will be really good for her. I've gotta run now. I'll keep everyone posted as things unfold.

A Day At The Vet

Ok, so I found a lump on Mason's chest last year. At the time, it was not much larger than a dime, then a few weeks ago, I noticed it had grown, and was pretty solid. I contacted the vet who wanted to see him, and we took him today. The doctor checked out the lump and said that he wants to remove it as soon as possible, that he doesn't want to take his chances if it's cancerous. Dave and I both have discussed this, and agree the lump needs to be removed, but can't afford it at this time. What the plan is now is to take money in each paycheck and start a credit with them, so when the time comes, we'll be able to pay for the procedure.
The best part of this is it's not going to be a serious surgery where he needs to be totally knocked out. Because of Mason's personality and aloofedness, they can remove it under local anesthetics. Luckily, all they really have to do is get him really drunk. Other than that, because he's a senior, they recommend a yearly bloodwork exam, and it's not cheap. I told them that we'd have to work on that one, but we'll see what we can do. Otherwise, Mason has an EXCELLENT bill of health, and I was told I should be proud of how good he looks. (As we all know that I am.)
We've almost completely moved everything downstairs now. I'm working on taking the rest of our stuff out of the livingroom so Mom can feel like she's got her house back. It's not going to be an easy process because I'll be doing it by myself and my body is still screaming from moving everything down since Sunday. I will manage though, and since I don't babysit tomorrow, maybe I'll just take two Advil PMs to help ease the pain. That's all I've got for ya right now. Hope this finds everyone happy and well. If this is my last post before Christmas, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

A Step Into The Dark Side

So Heather and her boyfriend came down from Idaho Falls last night. She said the sole purpose of the trip is to swap rooms with Dave and I and that she wanted it done today. Dave went to work, and I waited for her to get up so we could do the swap. She got up and ate breakfast with me and mom and dad, then her and her boyfriend took off. I waited and waited and waited, not only has she not followed through on that, she also bailed on me and our "plans" to spend time with Olivia.
Now it's 10pm, and I'm not going to stay up all night. She is not home right now (surprise, surprise) and Mom has decided that we're not swapping rooms until the morning. What sets me off on all this is majority of the issues are because of Heather, and I'm always being told that she gets upset when I break our plans, but when she does it, it seems like she's not in the wrong, and that it's ok. I know it's not right but it seems like Heather can do no wrong. It always seems like if something goes wrong in the house, it's my fault weather I did anything or not. Sometimes I think I'm not good enough for my father, that I'm nothing but a screw up, and it really upsets me.
I don't mean to sound so negative, I just needed to vent, let out my feelings on things without being misinterpreted, judged, or yelled at. I know my parents love me, but sometimes I feel like they don't appreciate me. I respect them more than Heather does, and I feel like I get dumped on more than she does. It's frustrating and very much irritating. I guess this is one of the reasons that I created this blog, to express feelings that I could not otherwise do to others. I'll step off my soapbox now, I do feel a little better now though.

Thinkin IS Dangerous

Ok, so I'm basically pulling an all nighter tonight. It's not by choice as I have to babysit tomorrow, and it's going to be an extremely long and busy day, but because my husband snores. Usually I can nudge him and he'll quiet down, but sometimes I can try anything and it just won't work- tonight is one of those times. Normally I use ear plugs to block him out, nope, he was louder than usual, and I could still hear him, so here I am, online instead of in bed. That's ok though, because when 7:15 rolls around, I'm kicking him out of bed to wait for the child I watch, and I'm going to try to get in an hour of sleep, mean, maybe but he's been warned.
Anyway, since I couldn't sleep, I've been doing a little thinking.(YES, it hurt!) For as long as I can remember, I've been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve, that I'm too open about my feelings and that I need to change that. I can honestly say that I've tried, but since I started on anti-depressants for crying for 3hrs for no reason, I began to realize that by supressing my feelings, it was making things bad for me. That being said, I'm no longer going to supress my feelings. Who cares if I wear my heart on my sleeve, it's what makes me who I am, and I just can't change because it's a bother for people. Am I a compassionate person, yes, very, and I see myself as a person with an extremely big and giving heart.
I have learned that I trust too easily, and that sometimes, people who say they're your friends, really just want to use you for something to their advantage. I've got some SERIOUSLY dark skeletons in my closet that nobody really truely knows except for my husband, and lately some of those skeletons have surfaced and creeped into my dreams, reminding me that you've gotta be careful who you trust. Because of how disturbing the dream was, I began a dream journal. Dave suggested I talk to somebody about these dreams, and I told him I will if they get worse. He said I should talk to my parents about them, but I said no, they've got my little sis to worry about right now, I don't want to worry them further.
Anyway, I've rambled enough, one of the hazards of no sleep. Yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve, but the skeletons I will fight to keep hidden! Sometimes, the past really truely sucks!

Just Another Day In My Life........

Ok, so this isn't really my most favorite picture of Dave and I, but it was taken after a LONG day in Jerome. We'd just barely gotten home, about Midnight, and we took this because my mother-in-law wanted pictures. We both were really exhausted and ready to climb into bed.

Anyhow, we're working on things financially and with our relationship. We both found out that niether one of us thinks we're attractive, it's because of our weight, but we are going to work on it because we both love eachother, and want things to work. I told Dave that I thought the world to him and the only thing that makes me lose interest in him are his really stinky feet. He didn't like that too much, and I told him I was just kidding. We're trying to help Mom and Dad out the best we can, and have set up a receiver in their room, so now they watch Satellite on our account, it saves them in the long run and our bill will only be about $5 a month.

I will be starting up my Gold Canyon membership in January again. It'll be a time when I can afford it better, and maybe then I can set up the website as well. This year I'm going to try to have at least 2 partys a month. Dave starts working from home in Jan. He's really excited, not that I blame him, and really wants to prove himself to his father. Well, I should take off before I step on my soap box, hope you all have a good week.

Time Goes By.........

It's hard to believe it's already December. Before too long my little nephew will be here, I'll be another year older (yay me!) and we'll have more experiences to look forward to in life. It has been a rollercoaster of a year for the Lages, looking back, it seemed like there were more DOWNS than UPS, but hidden amongst those downs I know are many blessings that we may and may not see.
Though we lost Grandma this year, I got the chance to say goodbye to her, tell her "I love you" one last time, and hear her, for the last time, tell me how proud of me she is. That's something that always comes to me when I'm down. We are blessed to have family who loves us, and helps us when they can. Dave should be working from home soon, he'll be making just shy of $15 an hour and I look forward to seeing him prove those who don't think he can do it, wrong.
I've got a lot in store for this up-comming year, hopefully things work out the way I want them to, I know it doesn't always work like that but a girl can dream right? Well, it's way past my bedtime, and the cold meds kicked in so I'm feelin a little drunk. Hope all is well with you, and I'll post something again soon.

Happy Thanksgiving

Well everyone, it's TURKEY DAY! I can honestly say I have some mixed emotions about this time of year. About 3yrs ago, my grandfather unexpectedly passed away, and I took his passing pretty hard. I missed out on talking to him due to an issue between my aunt, grandmother and I. Because of my pride, I avoided them at all costs and Grandpa paid the price.
Growing up, I've had a lot of experience with death, many of my family members passed while I was growing up, and I handle deaths well. Grandpa's was the worse I've ever experienced, and don't want to experience ever again. To this day I have a hard time this time of year, but I make the best of it, I'm very thankful that I had the chance that most of my other relatives didn't get, to know Grandpa. My siblings and I got the most valuable thing we could from him, and that is knowing him. We spent time with him and have so many good memories of him that we'll take with us always.
This year we've got some things to be thankful for, Dave's got a promotion, we have a roof over our heads (thanks mom and dad!) and we're working on getting our relationship back on track (yeah, it de-railed a little at eachother's fault). I'm thankful for the friends and family who support and help us when they can. We truely have been blessed with people we know and love. I hope you all take the time to think of what you're thankful for, count your blessings, and be very grateful, there are people out there who have much less than we do.

Test Run

Ok, so I've designed this blog as a tester. Dave and Jess was designed by my loving older brother, and I thought this one I would experiment on, learn by trial and error if you will. I am totally open to feedback and suggestions, any help you can give me will be awesome. You'll even find blogs about random thoughts I have, rants, yes, it's going to be my personal sounding board.