Thinkin IS Dangerous

Ok, so I'm basically pulling an all nighter tonight. It's not by choice as I have to babysit tomorrow, and it's going to be an extremely long and busy day, but because my husband snores. Usually I can nudge him and he'll quiet down, but sometimes I can try anything and it just won't work- tonight is one of those times. Normally I use ear plugs to block him out, nope, he was louder than usual, and I could still hear him, so here I am, online instead of in bed. That's ok though, because when 7:15 rolls around, I'm kicking him out of bed to wait for the child I watch, and I'm going to try to get in an hour of sleep, mean, maybe but he's been warned.
Anyway, since I couldn't sleep, I've been doing a little thinking.(YES, it hurt!) For as long as I can remember, I've been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve, that I'm too open about my feelings and that I need to change that. I can honestly say that I've tried, but since I started on anti-depressants for crying for 3hrs for no reason, I began to realize that by supressing my feelings, it was making things bad for me. That being said, I'm no longer going to supress my feelings. Who cares if I wear my heart on my sleeve, it's what makes me who I am, and I just can't change because it's a bother for people. Am I a compassionate person, yes, very, and I see myself as a person with an extremely big and giving heart.
I have learned that I trust too easily, and that sometimes, people who say they're your friends, really just want to use you for something to their advantage. I've got some SERIOUSLY dark skeletons in my closet that nobody really truely knows except for my husband, and lately some of those skeletons have surfaced and creeped into my dreams, reminding me that you've gotta be careful who you trust. Because of how disturbing the dream was, I began a dream journal. Dave suggested I talk to somebody about these dreams, and I told him I will if they get worse. He said I should talk to my parents about them, but I said no, they've got my little sis to worry about right now, I don't want to worry them further.
Anyway, I've rambled enough, one of the hazards of no sleep. Yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve, but the skeletons I will fight to keep hidden! Sometimes, the past really truely sucks!