Good Day

Alright, the whole reason I started this blog was to vent, release emotions, thoughts, feelings, and whatever was keeping me down, to try to overcome my depression. I have been free of my anti-depressants since April, have had good days, and bad, sometimes with the bad outweighing the good. I can honestly say that today is not one of those days. I try to put pictures in each of my entries, pictures that go along with the post, or how I'm feeling that day. As you can see, today's picture is of the sun, shining as bright as it can through the clouds. That is how I feel today, I feel like I'm the rays of sunshine fighting through the thick clouds that are trying to keep me hidden. Yes, I could be a bit crazy, but that's why you guys all love me, and that's who I am, crazy ol Jess with the world's biggest heart (just try to fight that one).
Anyway, let me explain why I'm having such a good day. I had Kaitlynn and Madison stay the night last night, with Mom's permission because their "Step-Dad" had to take a load to Portland, wanted Janelle to go and couldn't take anyone else under the age of 18. Worried that Madison would wake up too early or through the night, I didn't sleep much, but felt oddly rested when I got up at 7. Then came the long awaited photos of Mr. Harper Tritz Hollingsworth, my adorable nephew, followed by a brief chat with his mommy. (Thank you Chrystal, I miss our chats!!) I get to look at the pictures on a bigger screen when I get upstairs, weigh myself before I got into the Shower and found that I lost 2 1/2lbs (YES, I am happy at that!) and am just in an all around good mood.
I have spent a lot of time thinking since I've been off my anti-d's, and have come up with some "life changes" if you will. There are a lot of "downers" in my life. In-laws not having a thing to do with us (there are 2 that do, you know who you are.), relationships in my own family, living with my parents, and even the loss of Mason. The downers named here, well they can't be gotten rid of, or fixed without the help of the other parties, but I've managed to find my "ray of sunshine" in those dark clouds. Thanks for the idea/help Dan, but from now on, I'm looking for the positives and focusing on the Lord first. I know that's the first step to finding who I am, and my happiness, and with the little miniscule changes I've made over the last week or so, I'm feeling that happiness.
Anyway, I just wanted to share a little bit of sunshine today. Hopefully I will stay in this mood the rest of the day. I look forward to more of these, it's been a really long time. I hope you all have a happy day, and if you're feeling down, think of one thing that always makes you happy and hold onto that. It's true when the Savior said " I didn't say it'd be easy, I only said it'd be worth it!"