You Don't Count The Cost.

I had an interesting conversation with Dan the other day. It was more a question he asked me, with all the problems I had with them, is trying for a friendship with Janelle really worth it??? That question really weighed on my mind since then, mainly trying to figure out a way to put into words what I feel about it all. Today, while I was on a downer, I was listening to the music I've been adding to the computer. "You don't count the cost" by Billy Dean came on, and it hit right away. Hopefully, with the help of the song, it can give everyone a better understanding of why I put myself in that situation. The following is the 3rd verse of the song, and part of the chorus.

It happens all around us
Each and every day
Someone's giving all they got
For someone else's sake
If you ever doubt it
Just think about the cross
When it comes to love, you don't count the cost

You don't count the heartache
You don't count the sacrifice
All that counts is what you feel inside
It doesn't really matter what is gained or what is lost
When it comes to love, you don't count the cost

Yes, I've been treated like crap. Yes I have been wrongfully accused and disrespected, but that does not matter , not if you're trying to practice having that Christ-Like love for others. I am striving to be a better person, to forgive those who have hurt me and/or my loved ones, and to forgive myself. Maybe I am too attached to the kids I watch, especially Kaitlynn, but it can't be helped if you watch them 90% of their life. I'm trying to have a friendship with Janelle that does not center around Kaitlynn because she's a good person. Some would THINK I feel sorry for her, maybe part of me does. All the problems I have are with Lee, he triggers it all, and yes, I feel at times that she should correct him when he's wrongfully going psycho on those who are just trying to be his friend, but I can't condemn her for standing by her husband. Don't they teach us to cleave unto your spouse???
I don't have to have contact with Lee to be friends with Janelle. He can hate and distrust me all he wants, that's something he has to explain to his maker. I won't be held accountable, I'm trying to be the better person, and I can't be mean or disrespect him because he's Janelle's husband and Kaitlynn's father. Let him say what he wants, I know the truth, and all I can do is pray for him. I'm leaving it all in the Lord's hands, right now, we're communicating through texts and instant messaging. It's all baby steps, and what happens will happen. If we both want a friendship, it will work. Like the song says, "when it comes to Love, you don't count the cost."