Just Some Thoughts

For the past month or so, I'll be sitting there, and all of a sudden I'll say to myself, "I hate my life". To an extent it's true, I don't like my life, and I know everyone feels that way at some time in their lives but it's just so flipping annoying to feel that way and not know why. Because of that feeling, I've been trying to figure out why I feel that way so I can change that.
Part of the problem is living with my parents, it makes me feel like I've become a burden on them, like I'm some kind of failure and disappointment. I know this is not true, but it's hard to feel that way when you go from living life on your own and then having to move back in with the parents as an adult. Somebody once said that I have way too much drama in my life, they're right, I do but I have tried and am still trying to fix that.
Friendship was an extremely important thing for me, and to an extent it still is, but it's hard to keep friends. I thought I was working on a good friendship with the woman I babysit for, but I feel like it's just business with her now. We never talk or do things like we use to, when she talks to me, its' usually about watching her daughter. All my other friends seem to have dropped like dead flies as well, what's wrong with me????
As for Kids, you all know how bad I want them, and babysitting other people's children fills that void, but it's not healthy for me to get attached to them the way I have, and I just don't like it. I've been on my anti-depressants for quite some time now, and I'm realizing that they may not be all that I need, maybe I need to talk to somebody. One thing I want to change for sure is my inactivity in the church. I want to get back there, get my recommend renewed and go to the Temple on a regular basis. I'm tired of feeling this way and I know the Lord can help me more than I can help myself. Enough of my ranting, I'll leave ya all to do whatever you need to. Take care.